Wednesday, May 21, 2008

The Chat: Obama and Ahmadinejad


  Hi.

  Hello.

 

 

  Well, it's nice to finally meet you...

  Same here.

  So... how 'bout them Cubs?

  28 and 18! Zambrano's been having a hell of a year!

  Indeed. But enough pleasantries, I'd --

  No, we're not disbanding our nuclear program.

  What if we gave up 40% of Israel?

  How about 100% -- and we keep our nukes?

  You drive a hard bargain. What say you to... 50% of Israel and some F-16s?

  F-16s... uhm, no.

  My final offer: 60% of Israel, including Jerusalem. And a fully equipped aircraft carrier.

  Your voice... so smooth, so debonair... hmmm... I feel a concession coming on.

  Excellent!

  **Whew** I'm sorry, it wasn't a concession -- just gas. I've been diagnosed with problem flatulence.

  Painful affliction.

  I'll say. Anyhoo... look, here's the deal. We'll promise to stop our nuclear program in exchange for 95% of Israel, including Jerusalem. And a fully equipped aircraft carrier. As long as there are no nuclear inspectors. You can trust us -- our word is bond!

  Done! Oh, one other thing...

  Could you throw in $31 million for a... a... friend?

  $31 million? Get me a week of Karl Rove's consulting service and I'll round it up to $40 mill. I've got to run for re-election again.

  Oh, and say hi to Vice President Pelosi for me! Wink, wink, nudge, nudge!

Update: TNOYF utilized a time-travel device to ascertain the real dialog between the leaders.

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