Tuesday, June 12, 2007

Reid and Pelosi plan the Democrats' next move


Did you see the latest LA Times poll?

Yep. We're down to a 27% approval rating. And you're at 18%, which is exactly half of Chimpy's rating!

Yes, I know, thanks! So what do we do about it, Miss Smarty Pants? If we don't take some action soon, Hillary will have a better shot at winning the Miss America pageant than the Presidency.

Well, maybe we should do something... something important. Pass some laws n' stuff.

Laws? S**t, you're talking work, consensus-building, listening to our constituents... how 'bout just issuing some press releases instead?

Oh, you mean like a no-confidence vote on the Attorney General? That worked out real well, didn't it, Sparky?

No, no, NO! Nothing controversial! How about a statement that says we'll do everything in our power to fight earmarks and pork-barrel politics?

Boehner's already on to us! That idiot Obey tried to slip the earmarks into our spending bills after they've been agreed to and signed, when it's too late to do anything about them!

You know, I'm sitting right here next to you! I can hear you both!

Ooops. Sorry. How about a statement that recommends banning the employment of Congressional family members as lobbyists?

WHATTT??!?! Hand me that glass, I want some of what you're drinking! You trying to send my whole family to the unemployment line?

Hey, brainiac, I'm talking about a statement condemning the practice, not a law! It'll be as meaningless as everything else we've tried to do this term, but it'll look like we're actually doing something.

I don't know... hey, how about a statement regarding the ill-fated immigration bill. Say, that we support building a fence? You know, 72% of all Americans support that... wouldn't that make sense?

We already passed that bill, Mr. Memory. We authorized the construction of 700 miles of fencing on the border in October, remember? But we don't really want any such thing - it would jeopardize our projected majority...

But what if we issue a strongly-worded statement condemning the president for not building the fence... and we get Dowd, Rich, Cohen, and company to hammer Bush for not getting anything done?

Harry, you really are a genius! You know, if you were twenty years younger, four inches taller, a lot more manly, and had a full head of hair, I think I could fall for you.


No, idiot, of course not! I'll see you tomorrow. And don't forget to call Dowd to get the ball rolling.

Will do, sweet-cheeks. *Sigh*. I really do dig her.

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