Mia Farrow recently
offered to exchange her freedom for that of an imprisoned humanitarian worker in Darfur. Farrow made the offer in a letter written to the Sudanese president (hat tip:
EIB).
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiR7S8WuybG3TydWRUgDfKdHyKGpVWeyc-csxwVMc30gmVf9Et-eODOCwnROu01aWnlrQKAB69pMbLM8uj9TqgYa9XLD4laYri_Z11-HHVd6y7JrguR4mrppsWChnkAn2UZrdS_CQ/s200/070807-announcers.jpg)
The idea has swept the globe! Terrorists worldwide will draft celebrities this evening, who will offer themselves up in exchange for kidnapped civilians.
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiR7S8WuybG3TydWRUgDfKdHyKGpVWeyc-csxwVMc30gmVf9Et-eODOCwnROu01aWnlrQKAB69pMbLM8uj9TqgYa9XLD4laYri_Z11-HHVd6y7JrguR4mrppsWChnkAn2UZrdS_CQ/s200/070807-announcers.jpg)
And, so, we welcome you to the First Annual Celebrity Hostage Draft. Skip, we're ready to roll... very excited... here's the first selection...
1 - With the first pick in the terrorist draft, the
Al Qaeda Fighting Butt-scabs select...
Sean Penn!
2 - With the second pick in the terrorist draft, the
Hezbollah Stanky Hookahs choose...
Barbra Streisand!
3 - With the third pick in the terrorist draft, the
Hamas Suicidal Loons pick...
Alec Baldwin!
4 - With the fourth pick in the terrorist draft, the
Al Qaeda-in-Iraq Crusty Feces select...
Michael Moore!
5 - With the fifth pick in the terrorist draft, the
Ansar al-Islam Slithering Scumbags choose...
Martin Sheen!
6 - With the sixth pick in the terrorist draft, the
Islamic Jihad Crazy Crackheads pick...
Susan Sarandon!
7 - With the seventh pick in the terrorist draft, the
Abu Sayyaf Exploding Turtles choose...
Charlie Sheen!
8 - With the eighth pick in the terrorist draft, the
Jemaah Islamiyah Exploding Penguins select...
Tim Robbins!
9 - With the ninth pick in the terrorist draft, the
Fatah Exploding Baby Seals choose...
Harry Belafonte!
10 - With the tenth pick in the terrorist draft, the
Darul Islam Exploding Puppies pick...
Susan Sarandon!
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhS0X-AAm98Cf-e7aVJ61PoayCosyb29TFbTgbjUGPNvzJkacvZ509WbeJ4zC_9IQYXmKunCOVvhyBV8PcYYSnchjJdjSRTUWNM1GhpmCRBQPJcRKP2tJ6uQJ3NJXBxb5aHJQvjFA/s200/070807-terrorist1.jpg)
You can
not choose Susan Sarandon, we
already choose Susan Sarandon!
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgO3FVZ9PVBuQryqqaynHdy3KHv3hEYO9dd13PZgbGT99twSuShLYihxuvPDZiCleq7pEjvptEX38YOASZBWQ4KMZjXT6SpA7D3tkPMOhyphenhyphensNvpygJGWYaqg2SxWIluAJXH0ht877w/s200/070807-terrorist2.jpg)
No you didn't, you son of a liar!
We pick Susan Sarandon first!
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhS0X-AAm98Cf-e7aVJ61PoayCosyb29TFbTgbjUGPNvzJkacvZ509WbeJ4zC_9IQYXmKunCOVvhyBV8PcYYSnchjJdjSRTUWNM1GhpmCRBQPJcRKP2tJ6uQJ3NJXBxb5aHJQvjFA/s200/070807-terrorist1.jpg)
I KILL YOU!
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgO3FVZ9PVBuQryqqaynHdy3KHv3hEYO9dd13PZgbGT99twSuShLYihxuvPDZiCleq7pEjvptEX38YOASZBWQ4KMZjXT6SpA7D3tkPMOhyphenhyphensNvpygJGWYaqg2SxWIluAJXH0ht877w/s200/070807-terrorist2.jpg)
Uh oh.
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4rER5x-UzjWiJJg5gEBhwxszIgggJmzlJ3IIVsQKzlxW_z-xOUTKfTNMUqbhuWCsRDZU5kUFsuF-uIS1GaOwkGmVBt0TcZKtcQ1uIurw5UwkvEYeCrhyphenhyphen32UopQR1lHPwLxZ0yBg/s200/070807-explosion.jpg)
KA-BOOOMMMM!
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiR7S8WuybG3TydWRUgDfKdHyKGpVWeyc-csxwVMc30gmVf9Et-eODOCwnROu01aWnlrQKAB69pMbLM8uj9TqgYa9XLD4laYri_Z11-HHVd6y7JrguR4mrppsWChnkAn2UZrdS_CQ/s200/070807-announcers.jpg)
Errrr... thanks for watching the first -- and, apparently, the last -- Celebrity Hostage Draft!
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