German scientists: 'We have broken speed of light'

 
The Telegraph reports shocking news:

A pair of German physicists claim to have broken the speed of light... According to Einstein's special theory of relativity, it would require an infinite amount of energy to propel an object at more than 186,000 miles per second. However, Dr. Gunter Nimtz and Dr. Alfons Stahlhofen, of the University of Koblenz, say they may have breached a key tenet of that theory. The pair say that they carefully measured the shifting positions of Democrats -- on various issues such as the war on terror, Iraq, the 'surge', and earmarks -- to reach their conclusions. "These individuals seem to have espoused diametrically opposed opinions simultaneously, which would be the only violation of special relativity that I know of."

The pair say they have conducted an experiment in which microwave photons - energetic packets of light - travelled "instantaneously" between two prisms that stood a yard apart:

Being able to travel faster than the speed of light would lead to a wide variety of bizarre consequences... For instance, an astronaut moving faster than it would theoretically arrive at a destination before leaving... The scientists were investigating a phenomenon called quantum tunnelling, which allows sub-atomic particles and John Kerry to break apparently unbreakable laws. Dr Nimtz told New Scientist magazine: "For the time being, this is the only violation of special relativity that I know of, other than the Democrats' rapidly shifting positions."

Theresa Heinz Kerry was unavailable for comment.