Wednesday, February 08, 2006

The 2006 Democratic Contract with Al Qaeda

Epiphany: after hearing an EIB broadcast regarding terrorists and their perceived "rights", AJ Strata arrived at a stunning idea. Why not officially enunciate the Democratic position on Al Qaeda with the same clarity of vision and purpose that the GOP provided America in '94?

Thus was born the "2006 Democrat Contract With Al Qaeda." And the amazing aspect of the "contract" is that you can find sound-bites from Democratic leadership clearly advocating each of these positions. Read 'em and weep for the Republic:

FIRST, we will finally kill the Patriot Act so that no member of Al Qaeda will fear using our libraries to access international websites, access their email, or do basic research on major US installations and population centers...

SECOND, We will enact legislation to release all Al Qaeda members now held in custody in the GITMO Gulag, while providing legal counsel to all who have been unfairly detained during this unfortunate international misunderstanding between Al Qaeda and America...

THIRD, we will pass legislation ensuring that all Al Qaeda members will be free from government monitoring of their phone calls and emails with comrades back home monitored without probable cause...

Read the whole thing™.

The only one he forgot, as one commenter pointed out, is that if an Al Qaeda member does happen to suffer arrest and conviction, the Democrats will work to ensure that the terrorist/felon has a vote in our political system. That would give convicted terrorists the same voting rights as corpses and illegal multi-state voters, which appear to be key Democratic constituencies.

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