Tom sends us today's winner.
Subject: Amish Farmer
An Amish farmer walking, notices a man drinking from his pond, with his hand.
The Amish man shouts: "Trink das wasser nicht. Die kuhen haben dahin gesheissen."
Which means: "Don't drink the water, the cows have pooped in it."
The man shouts back: "I'm from Chicago and just down here campaigning for Obama, I can't understand you. Please speak in English."
The Amish man says: "Use two hands, you'll get more."