If Barack Obama played the lead in Star Wars

Based on a true story.

The time has come, young Skywalker.

***ZZZZZZZZHHHHHHHHHMMMMMMMMMM***

Look, Lord Vader: I promise to cut the rebels' investments in unproven missile defense systems...

Eh?

...I will not weaponize space...

...

...I will slow development of future combat systems...

...and I will institute a "Defense Priorities Board" to ensure the quadrennial defense review is not used to justify unnecessary spending...

...I will set a goal of a world without any advanced weapons...

...and to seek that goal, I will not develop advanced weapons...

...

...I will seek a global ban on the development of light swords...

...and I will negotiate with the Emperor to take our starship fleet off of its hair-trigger alert.

So, Lord Vader. What say you to peace?

Let me consider your offer for a moment.

***SNICK***

***Thump***!!!

You'd think several millenia would have cured the "progressives" of their appeasement mentality. But nooooooooooooooooooo...

I wonder what the specials are in the cafeteria?


* * *
So that's why Obama didn't get the part. The movie would've been over faster than Michael Moore can down a bag o' sliders.

Related: If Barack Obama starred in Raiders of the Lost Ark and If Barack Obama starred in The Good, The Bad and the Ugly. Inspired by: Barry Rubin.