Friday, April 29, 2016

EXCLUSIVE: Secret Agenda for the 2016 Democratic National Convention Revealed!

Cub Reporter Biff Spackle scoops the world with this exclusive, tippity-top secret agenda for the DNC.

2016 Democrat National Convention
Schedule of Events

 7:00 pm OPENING FLAG BURNING
 7:15 pm PLEDGE OF ALLEGIANCE TO THE UNITED NATIONS
 7:20 pm Actor Portraying Ted Kennedy PROPOSES A TOAST TO Hillary Clinton
 7:25 pm OPENING ISLAMIC PRAYER - Rep. Keith Ellison
 7:45 pm CEREMONIAL TREE HUGGING - Leonardo DiCaprio
 7:55 pm Actor Portraying Ted Kennedy PROPOSES A TOAST TO Joe Biden
 8:00 pm MUSICAL INTERLUDE ON GLOBAL WARMING: John Kerry and James Taylor
 8:30 pm TRANSGENDER WEDDING PLANNING - Caitlyn Jenner
 8:55 pm Actor Portraying Ted Kennedy PROPOSES A TOAST TO Hillary Clinton
 9:00 pm CLOSING GITMO: WHAT COULD GO WRONG? - Barack Obama
 9:30 pm MEMORIAL SERVICE FOR SADDAM HUSSEIN - Cindy Sheehan and Sean Penn
 9:55 pm SECURING YOUR PERSONAL EMAIL SERVER - Bryan Pagliano
10:00 pm Actor Portraying Ted Kennedy PROPOSES A TOAST TO the late VP Joe Biden
10:05 pm COLLECTION DRIVE FOR THE OSAMA BIN LADEN SCHOLARSHIP FUND - Barbra Streisand
10:30 pm FREE THE FREEDOM FIGHTERS FROM GUANTANAMO BAY - Barack Obama
11:00 pm OVAL OFFICE AFFAIRS - A POEM BY William Jefferson Clinton
11:45 pm Actor Portraying Ted Kennedy PROPOSES A TOAST TO Nancy Pelosi's Rack
11:50 pm A PLEA FOR MASS PARDONS OF VIOLENT FELONS - Howard Dean
12:15 am FREE THE MINUTEMEN UNLAWFULLY IMPRISONED IN GITMO - Michael Moore
12:25 am Actor Portraying Ted Kennedy PROPOSES A TOAST TO Beyonce
12:30 am SATELLITE ADDRESS - Vladimir Putin
12:45 am NOMINATION OF HILLARY CLINTON - Senator Chuck Schumer
1:00 am Actor Portraying Ted Kennedy SINGS NATIONAL ANTHEM
1:05 am CORONATION OF HILLARY CLINTON
1:30 am Actor Portraying Ted Kennedy PROPOSES A TOAST TO Mary Jo Kopechne
1:35 am Bill Clinton asks actor Portraying Ted Kennedy to drive Hillary home.

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3 comments:

TPcat78 said...

Spot on!

Anonymous said...



Bill, your list seems about right but I don't see the "Guest dem lite" Speakers"....

Mitch da Bitch McConnell
Paul Munster Ryan
John da Weeper Boehner
Jeff ImA Flake
Petey the Con King
John Dang Fence McLame
Rand Mitch's Bitch Paul
Marco Dondi Rubio
John da Milkman Kasich
Chris PuppyDog Crisco


After all, what's a convention if the whole family can't be there?
{I'm sure the list can be expanded}

Geo

hughroe said...

Left Trump out of the 9:30 PM Memorial Service.