Saturday, October 13, 2007

CNN reveals a 'safe house'... and more!

CNN's done it again. Not content with marketing terrorism by airing insurgent sniper videos, the fading network just hit a new low. Gates of Vienna reports that CNN, always aware of the need for extremists to be able to locate artists and writers who "defame Islam," has revealed the safe house of artist Lars Vilks. Shockingly, our reporters have discovered an even more serious breach of protocol by CNN's Blanderson Pooper. Let's watch the tape:

I'm Blanderson Pooper. Artist Blanche Fester has attempted, successfully so far, to elude the religious extremists pursuing her over her controversial artwork. Until now, Fester's safe-house -- at 100 12th Ave. in Waltham, Massachusetts -- has been a closely guarded secret.

CNN can reveal a nearby, unlicensed gunshop where Glock 9mm semi-automatic handguns are sold with their serial numbers scratched off. Ask for Vinny.

Fester's secret residence is located here -- and she has no roommates or bodyguards. The key to the back door is stashed between the second and third bricks on the first step.

For someone quickly leaving the area, CNN recommends heading west on Fifth Avenue, where there are three exit points: the road north intersects with Route 2, heading west hits Interstate 128, and south drops into the Mass Pike.

For a person who wishes to switch vehicles, CNN recommends heading west and taking route 128 to the Burlington Mall exit. A gray, late-model Toyota Sienna mini-van is parked at the southwest corner of the first parking structure. The rear latch is open and the keys are hidden under the rear right floormat.

In the third row of seats, there is a suitcase containing several complete changes of clothing, $5,000 in cash, a Sony mini-cam, and a self-addressed, postage-free envelope for mailing the videotape back to CNN... This is Blanderson Pooper for CNN, reporting.

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Maybe it's just me, but I think CNN may have finally crossed a line here. Hot Air has more.

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