Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Bail out the King!

Chris Kelly, writing at the Stuffington Roast, argues persuasively against a bailout of Chrysler Cerberus.

There's no such thing as Chrysler. It doesn't even have any stockholders to save. If the bailout passes, your money will go directly to the hardworking men and women of something called Cerberus Capital Management, L.P.

Cerberus, named for reasons unknown after the mythical three-headed dog that drags souls to hell, is one of the world's largest private investment firms. By its own account, it has $25 billion under management in funds and accounts and significant investments in more than 50 companies that, in aggregate, generate more than $60 billion in annual revenues worldwide...

A Japanese bank called Aozora
A Japanese real estate company
A Japanese golf course company
An Israeli bank
A German bank
A reinsurance company called Scottish Re, with headquarters in Bermuda
A British TV rental chain called Boxclever
Telacris Biotherapeutics
A defense contractor called IAP World Wide
Bushmaster Firearms
Remington Arms
Panther Arms
Alamo Rental Car
250 Burger Kings
655 Albertson's
7 television stations
$30,000,000 worth of Mike Myers' "The Love Guru"
65,000 apartments in Berlin through GSW Berlin GmbH

Maybe you or your congressperson has a nostalgic attachment to some of those things. I don't.

Maybe Cerberus Capital Management L.P. should sell some of them, if they really need cash to stay in the minivan business.

That's a whopper of a deal!

Hat tip: Linda.

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