Sunday, November 29, 2009

Al Gore Moves On To His Next Great Cause

It's for the children... and the cash flow.

"Question for the Focus Group!"

"On a scale of 1 to 5 -- with 1 being not very scary to 5 being 'pee-in-your-pants terrifying', which scenario is more frightening to you?"

"In other words, is there a possible event in the future that would scare the bewhilickers out of you?"

"#1: Robots that reproduce, invade your home, and then sit in your recliner eating nachos."

"Nah... that's a two... not scary." "Hell, my husband does that now. How could I tell the difference?"

"#2: All Breast Implants installed before 2008 will double in size by 2019 causing higher air pressure around the world."

"That's a one." "I don't see the problem." "Me neither."

"#3: If the human race keeps polluting, gravity will stop working before the end of the century."

"C'mon!" "That's a one... some of us bought the warming crap before, but this time? That s*** is played!" "Give me a f***ing break."

"#4: More Keanu Reeves movies."

"S***!" "Five -- did you see his last bomb?" "I think I just soiled myself."

"Excellent... excellent! Now, final question: if any of these ideas pan out, would you object to being featured in a documentary film?"

12 Months Later