Thursday, November 26, 2009

Official Movie Trailer: The Day Al Gore Stood Still


Nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn...

***wheeeeeeeeeeee-ohhh-wheeeeeeeeeeee-ohhh...***

All science personnel, please report to the CRU...

Finally, this must be my vindication day... proof of global warming, once and for all.

Oww! My neck fat got caught in the zipper!! S**t!

Don't be afraid!

Afraid of what?

Didn't they tell you? They caught all the CRU scientists fudging the data! There's no global warming!!

...I'm going to ask you a series of questions...

Whatever, b***h.

...Is your name really Dr. Phil Jones?

Who the f*** else do I look like, yo?

...Did you ever fudge climate data to show that the Earth is warming?

Son-of-a-.... I want my lawyer!!

...Did you ever attempt to erase emails, documents or data related to a 'Freedom-of-Information-Act' request?

Would you believe we lost 'em?

Are you aware of an impending climate catastrophe?

No. But we estimate that there are perhaps 20,000 prehistoric humans frozen inside glaciers. Now, if they happen to thaw randomly, there's no problem. But if a leader emerges -- a caveman lawyer, perhaps -- we'll be facing a s***storm of pissed-off Neanderthals. With advanced technology. And no tort reform.

Do you feel what I'm feeling?

Yeah... it's gettin' colder, not warmer! I'm sick of this CRU "research" s*** -- gonna move to Jamaica --

How the hell are we supposed to say it's warming when icebergs are forming in the Gulf of Mexico?

Don't worry... Al Gore will come up with an explanation. He's a Nobel-frickin'-Prize winner, dammit!

Cooling? Cooling? I want a recount!! It's gotta be warming!

Okay, okay! I admit I fudged the climate data! But Gore's gone nuts -- he's setting fire to every damn forest in North America! He's going to make sure the Earth is warming, even if it means mass arson! He's got billions at stake!!

Opening in theaters November 28th.