Friday, June 28, 2013

Discovery of Endangered Slug Halts Inspector General From Dismantling EPA "Man-Caves"

Washington, DC (Spackle News Network) - Citing discovery of an endangered slug, EPA auditors halted efforts to dismantle numerous "man caves" found hidden in agency facilities nationwide.

Last month EPA's inspector general reported it had found secret rooms filled with televisions, couches, video-game consoles, and other leisure gear. “The warehouse contained multiple unauthorized and hidden personal spaces created by and for the workers that included televisions, refrigerators, radios, microwaves, chairs and couches,” the IG report said. “These spaces contained personal items, including photos, pin ups, calendars, clothing, books, magazines and videos.”

After a series of more thorough searches, however, EPA auditors also discovered a species of endangered slug living in the facilities. EPA administrators quickly filed restraining orders with the courts to prevent auditors from dismantling the man-caves.

"If we can only save one slug," said EPA Chief Gina McCarthy, "it will have been worth it. The so-called man-caves, while representing a waste of millions of taxpayer dollars, really pale in comparison to the life of the 'Windsor Slug'."

Yesterday President Obama indicated his intent to sign an executive order redirecting $1 billion to fund a study of the unique mating habits of the species. All operations at the facilities have been halted to prepare for the study.

Hat tip: Flyboys.

3 comments: said...

"Slug:" a secret room filled with televisions, couches, video-game consoles, and other leisure gear.

Redwine said...

LOL - The slime trail of Richard Windsor strikes again!

Anonymous said...

If the slugs to which they are referring are the employees involved, then they are not an endangered species. In fact, there are far too many of them already.