Bluto: Hey! What's this lying around s***?
Stork: Well, what the hell we s'posed to do, you moron?
D-Day: War's over, man. Wormer dropped the big one.
Bluto: Over? Did you say "over"? Nothing is over until we decide it is! Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? Hell no!
Boon: Forget it, he's rolling.
Bluto: And it ain't over now. 'Cause when the goin' gets tough... [pauses to remember the rest of the phrase] ...the tough get goin'! Who's with me? Let's go! [runs out, alone; then returns]
Bluto: What the f*** happened to the Delta I used to know? Where's the spirit? Where's the guts, huh? This could be the greatest night of our lives, but you're gonna let it be the worst! "Ooh, we're afraid to go with you Bluto, we might get in trouble." Well, just kiss my ass from now on! Not me! I'm not gonna take this! Wormer, he's a dead man! Marmalard, dead! Niedermeyer—
Otter: Dead! Bluto's right. Psychotic, but absolutely right. We gotta take these bastards. Now we could do it with conventional weapons, but that could take years and cost millions of lives. No, I think we have to go all out. I think that this situation absolutely requires a really futile and stupid gesture be done on somebody's part.
Bluto: And we're just the guys to do it.
D-Day: Let's do it.
So it turns out that Bluto really did end up in Congress!
Congressman Keith Ellison (D-Minn.) made some astonishingly ignorant statements during a discussion about the Iranian nuclear issue on Fox News's The O'Reilly Factor Tuesday... The pièce de résistance was him telling host Bill O'Reilly that the Nazis bombed Pearl Harbor...
CONGRESSMAN KEITH ELLISON (D-MINNESOTA): No, they [Iran] don’t have a weapon. They have not made a decision to do one. The inspections…
BILL O’REILLY, HOST: How would you know they have not made a decision to do one? How would you know that?
ELLISON: Because. I’m glad you asked. Because we have satellite technology. We have technology that can detect.
O’REILLY: They’re underground. The satellites can’t penetrate the earth. They’re underground.
ELLISON: We have inspections that have gone on.
O’REILLY: They won’t let the inspectors in as I’ve said three times.
ELLISON: Yes they have. There have been a number of inspections.
O’REILLY. No there haven’t. They went two weeks ago and they wouldn’t let them go in.
ELLISON: Well, Bill, I’m sorry, but I’m not going to back a war based on a maybe. 4,409 Americans are dead because somebody—
O’REILLY: Congressman, the reason we like you as a guest is because you’re an honest man, But I will point to history. I will point to history. The same mindset was taken when dealing with Nazi Germany. We’re not going to go in aggressive action. We don’t believe they’re going to do this. We don’t believe they’re going to do that. And they absolutely did everything. So I think you’ve got to learn from history.
ELLISON: Let me tell you in World War II, in World War II they attacked Pearl Harbor. That would be enough.
O’REILLY: No, this is the German theater not the Japanese.
I suggest that we start a Twitter meme -- hashtag #EllisonHistory -- to memorialize Bluto Ellison's brilliance.
Postscript: I haven't been over to Ace's place yet today, but I have the sinking feeling that he beat me to this precise post -- only about 75 times funnier.