Saturday, June 08, 2013

Top 10 Political Jokes of the Month

Culled from a list of 25 at I.J. Review.

10. "It is not looking good for President Obama. Today, his teleprompter took the fifth." --Jay Leno

9. "People always say this to me: 'Hey, Letterman,' they say. 'Why don't you make jokes about Obama?' All right, I'll tell you why. I don't make jokes about him because I don't want the FBI tapping my phone, that's why." --David Letterman

8. “Holder is shakier than a jackhammer operator playing Jenga on his lunch break. And what about Jay Carney over there? He’s got a worse bluff than Marty Feldman holding pocket aces. That cat blows more smoke than a Rastafarian’s death rattle. Couple more weeks like this and Obama’s gonna be claimin’ he’s Kenyan" --Dennis Miller

7. "During a Senate hearing yesterday, Senator John McCain said it was too hard to always have to update apps on his iPhone. No one has the heart to tell him the device he was holding was a garage door opener." --Conan O'Brien

6. "President Obama is in a lot of hot water lately. Despite the scandals, 53 percent of Americans say they approve of the job he's doing. The other 47 percent are being audited." --Conan O'Brien

5. "President Obama gave the commencement address at Morehouse College over the weekend. Great speech, very inspiring. He told the young graduates their future is bright – unless, of course, they want jobs." --Jay Leno

4. "I wouldn’t be surprised if President Obama learned Osama bin Laden had been killed when he saw himself announce it on television.” --Jon Stewart

3. “As for how much tax [the lottery winner's] gonna have to pay on that $590 million, the IRS said it’s too soon to tell, ‘cause they don’t know if she’s a Republican or a Democrat. So, it’s going to take a while to figure that out.” --Jay Leno

2. "This week marks the 40th anniversary of the Watergate hearings. For those of you too young to remember, back then the administration had an enemies list. They were spying on reporters, and they used the IRS to harass groups they didn't like. Thank God those days are gone forever." --Jay Leno

1. "I feel bad for Barack Obama. He's got the Benghazi scandal, the IRS scandal, and the FBI wiretapping phones. The president is in so much trouble politically, he's thinking about killing bin Laden again." --David Letterman


Hat tip: BadBlue Gun News.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

All good, but the one that made me LOL was the John McCain joke. Sounds about right!

Anonymous said...

And for us conservatives, John McCain was supposed to be our guy. Now THAT'S funny.