Excerpt from the Today Show's interview with Hillary Clinton

 
Here's an excerpt from the Today Show's softball interview with Hillary Clinton. Actually, the questions weren't softballs, they were whiffle-balls. Made of cardboard. Wet cardboard.

"Up close, the Senator and First Lady is natural, confident and warm."

Question: "Who are you, Hillary?..."

Question: "...At your core. At your very core."

Question: "Who are you and why do you believe you would be a good President..."

Question: "...and why do you even want to be President?

Answer: "I want to be President, because ---"

Answer: "-- at my core, I am a... a... ar r a.. a.. a... uhrg..."

Answer: "YOU DARE QUESTION MY MOTIVES, MORTAL? ALL THAT YOU KNOW, ALL THAT YOU DREAM, VERILY, ALL OF HUMANITY NEARS ITS END. FOR THE RIVER COCYTUS HAS BEGUN TO BOIL AND THE ACHERON HAS FLOODED ITS BANKS. THESE ARE THE SIGNS OUR MASTER'S RETURN IS NIGH.

THE LAMENTATIONS AND WOE OF MANKIND WILL SOON REACH A BLOODY CRESCENDO!

BOW YOUR HEAD, MORTAL, BOW YOUR HEAD FOR BEELZEBUB!!"

Question: "Hillary? Hillary? Are you okay?"

Answer: "...uhm... urp... be- because I am an American, through and through..."


Answer: "...and I am so grateful for the opportunity, for all of the opportunities and blessings that I've had."

Hat tips: Dan Riehl and Larwyn