Salesman: Welcome to District Chevrolet, can I help you with something?
Boehner: Lookin' for a sedan (*cough*). One with four doors.
S: Power ashtrays?
B: You know it, sonny.
S: How much you lookin' to spend?
B: Ehhh, unnngh, maybe... six... six hunnert a month, tops.
S: Well, we have several sedans in that price range. How much you lookin' to put down?
B: Fifteen grand, tops.
S: How 'bout mileage? Good gas mileage important for ya?
B: Damn straight it is.
S: Well, based on those precise criteria, I got just the ride for you then. This beauty right here (points to a shiny black sedan) is the 2012 Chevrolet Volt, which by most accounts is a collector's item.
B: I thought you couldn't sell any of those things.
S: That's a damn lie! Eh, pardon my French, sir, but we get that a lot. The Volt is one of our top sellers, plus they fixed the kersplodin' battery problem and the melting power cord issue, best we can tell.
B: You say it's a collector's item?
S: That's what all, eh, most, uhm, some of the, er, experts say.
B: Must say it looks purty sweet. What's one of these bad boys run?
S: Well, with a fifteen grand down payment... (whips out calculator, starts clicking keys)... 'bout $675 a month.
B: Hot damn, that's pretty close to what I wanted.
S: Tell you what (looks to either side, starts talking in a hushed voice)... you look like a real pro at negotiating --
B: Damn straight.
S: Don't tell my manager, but I can get you into the Deluxe model for an extra $14 a month if you sign tonight.
B: What's on the Deluxe model?
S: Couple of really nice items: you get the rustproof undercoating and the luxury, deluxe floor mats in plush velour. Softest damn floor mats in the world, guaranteed.
B: Sounds pretty good. You sure it's only $14 extra a month?
S: Like I said, don't tell my manager.
B: Hell, I won't! Do I look like a punk to you? I can smell a good deal when I see one.
S: Alright! You wanna me to write this puppy up? I got another guy who was lookin' at this car an hour ago and just went to get his wife...
B: Well, hell -- I better do it. Why don't you write it up.
S: Sure, enough. You can't get a better 84-month lease deal than this one, as far as you know.
B: Just hurry up. That other guy may come back with his freaking wife!