Monday, July 11, 2011

Tim Geithner's Tippity-Top Secret Debt Ceiling Spreadsheet

Biff Spackle lands another exclusive: our beloved, TurboTax-challenged Treasury Secretary's secret spreadsheet that specifies who gets paid and who gets bounced if the debt ceiling ain't raised:

As the Bipartisan Policy Center confirms:

The BPC study found that the United States is likely to hit the debt limit sometime between August 2 and August 9. “It’s a 44 percent overnight cut in federal spending” if Congress hits the debt limit, Powell said. The BPC study projects there will be $172 billion in federal revenues in August and $307 billion in authorized expenditures. That means there's enough money to pay for, say, interest on the debt ($29 billion), Social Security ($49.2 billion), Medicare and Medicaid ($50 billion), active duty troop pay ($2.9 billion), veterans affairs programs ($2.9 billion).

That leaves you with about $39 billion to fund (or not fund) the following:

Defense vendors ($31.7 billion)
IRS refunds ($3.9 billion)
Food stamps and welfare ($9.3 billion) -
Unemployment insurance benefits ($12.8 billion)
Department of Education ($20.2 billion)
Housing and Urban Development ($6.7 billion)
Other spending, such as Departments of Justice, Labor, Commerce, EPA, HHS ($73.6 billion)

Gee, let's see.

You mean we'd have to furlough:

Eric Holder? The National Labor Relations Board (NLRB), which is waging war on Boeing and other private sector companies? The EPA, which is trying to run an end-around on Congress with its own version of cap-and-trade? HHS, the blunt instrument of Obamacare? The Department of Education, also known as the stealth AFT and NEA funding agency? And HUD, progenitor of the Fannie Mae Housing Crisis, thanks to Andrew "The Architect of Ruin" Cuomo?

Wow. Tough decision. Let me think for a minute...

Furlough 'em. Nuke 'em from orbit. It's the only way to be sure.

Make Obama lead for a change. Force him to make the tough decisions.

I'm sure he'll do spectacularly well. After all, he had so much executive experience prior to taking the job. And he's maintained that stellar performance ever since.

PRESENT!


3 comments:

porcupinerim said...

The US Government is almost completely expendable, as you have pointed out, and effectively. This bunch of freeloading, thieving, liars should be tried, drawn, quartered, and buried in the Indian Ocean.

Not kidding, either.

Obama killer said...

Kill the EPA, Dept of Education, Energy and HEW. Kill SSI and Medicaid. Kill foreign aid.

Sell off half of the US land in the West. Sell long term natural resource leases.

Eliminate all Federal hires back to the 2000 level and institute a hiring freeze. Cut Federal pay by 20%.

Institute a law that failing to pass and maintain a balanced budget will result in the forced retirement of all elected and appointed federal officials in the executive, legislative and judiciary and barr them from future federal employment in any manner.

Cut all federal employee benefits by 1% for each year the budget doesn't baLANCE BUT INSTITUTE awards for informing on waste, mismanagement, and fraud and give that employee protection against retribution.

Anonymous said...

Hey Dougie, I got a song to go along with your Obama golfing icon, and it goes like this; sung to --- Oh, you'll figure it out

If everybody was like Obama
Across the USA
Then everybody's be golfing
As things slip away
We'd all be wearing our Mom jeans
Little golfing cap too
With a pussified golf swing
Golfing USA

And we'll be ignoring the oil spill
And unemployment lines
Housing prices in the toilet
Four bucks for gasoline
Huge mosque in Manhattan
AKs in Monterrey
Barry Obama's gone golfing
Golfing USA

We'll all be planning out a ruse
We're gonna leak to the news
We're firming up our tee time
We can't wait for noon
We're out of touch with the public
We're on the links to stay
Tell the Congress we're golfing
Golfing USA

And the debt at 14 trillion
Resurgent Taliban
War Powers vioalation
And soon nukes in Iran
Gold over a thousand
And still no budget today
Barry Obama gone golfing
Golfing USA

Barry Obama's gone golfing
Golfing USA
Yeah, Barry Obama's gone golfing .....

Anonymously yours
Lennie