The Stupid, It Burns

A cornucopia of actual headlines, ripped from America's real-time news aggregator of choice, BadBlue News:

• MSNBC Host: ‘Too Early To Tell’ If Man Asking For ISIS Flag Was Motivated By Islam: because an ISIS flag is ambiguous, right, Ben Affleck?
• Harvard Law Prof: Law Students Don’t Want To Hear Rape Law: that's right -- hearing about the case law surround sexual assault is too traumatic to study (memo to self: I predict a downgrade for Harvard's law school rating in the very near future)
• CBS: Voter ID Laws Are Like Violent Attacks on Blacks at Selma: which means the requirement for voter ID in airports, liquor stores, government buildings, the Social Security Administration, etc. are all like Selma
• New way to promote ObamaCare: 7-Eleven: Because nothing says healthy living like the microwavable burrito demographic
• If Racism is So Pervasive Why Do Race Hustlers Make It Up?: that's an easy one, Joe: because everything progressives do is based upon myth, fable, dreams, unicorn farts and shaggy pink ponies