The TEOTWAWKI Call

Somewhere, in a luxurious chalet near Geneva, Switzerland, billionaire George Soros hits the speed-dial function on his mobile phone and slowly lifts it to his ear.

Is it done?

Yes. I think I won over support for it. The media called my speech brilliant, accurate, excellent!

The media? That bunch of slobbering sycophants is a dying breed. What do the polls say?

Awesome! CNN says support jumped 14 points!

Well done, Barry. Now: how much will it add to the deficit?

I promised that it wouldn't add a dime, of course, but the staff economists say it will add two trillion in deficits over the next ten years.

So the total comes to -- ?

Hold on. Have another call.

Be quick, I'm in the middle of a hand.

Hello?

Hi, Mr. Soetero, did you know you can get extended coverage on your Lexus for only $900?

This isn't Mr. Soetero, you've got the wrong number.

But this is the number we have on file. Is this Barry Soetero?

Dammit, stop calling me!

Sorry about that. The total should come to -- carry the one -- $22 trillion in the next ten years.

Excellent. You've done good work here, Barry, very good work.

Thanks -- gotta go. We'll talk on Sunday.

Right-o.

Yves.

Yes, George.

That $100 million I spent on MoveOn.org and the American trade unions was the best investment I ever made.

I've made a cool $3 billion betting against the dollar just this year.

When I'm done with this rube, the dollar won't be worth the paper it's printed on.

Outside of a Bond movie, I didn't think anyone could actually destroy the United States. But I think may have done it! Now... are you going to play cards or screw around with a couple of billion dollars?

 

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