Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Spackle spy photo: Obama mulls VP replacement for Slow Joe Biden

Operating deep, deep, deep undercover, Biff Spackle files this exclusive report via the Tor Onion Router to conceal sources and methods.

[RNN] Given a brutal battle shaping up for his reelection campaign, Barack Obama is reportedly considering a replacement for Vice President Joe Biden in the run-up to 2012. Often lampooned as "the dumbest man ever to serve as Senator and, of course, also the dumbest man ever to serve as Vice President", Biden is increasingly seen as a political liability among Democrat power-brokers.

Speaking off the record, David Axelrod noted that Biden's record of gaffes, blunders, misstatements, and outright inanity had become "more than a liability". Axelrod alluded to secret discussions with other potential running-mates including an unnamed rodent-like mammal with "considerably more intellectual firepower and charisma" than Biden.

Although the rodent has yet to be publicly identified, a spy photograph has emerged of President Obama meeting with the would-be VP candidate.

Calls to David Flouffe to confirm these reports had not been returned at press time.


Mockingbird said...

So basically, Obama couldn't even pick a good Vice Presidential candidate back in 2008.

Diogenes Sarcastica™ said...

Seems Biden can’t show up at any event without acting like the manager of a used car lot. Being more apt to be found in the hall of elks, on the 7th days eve, in a green suit of leisure with white shoes pulling a draft, slapping backs and yacking it up; the second in charge of the great nation yet pulls at our legs, and leaves us all to beg for more spirits to quell our hysteria. Winnebago Man cometh.