Thursday, July 15, 2010

Ladies and Gentlemen, We Have a Wiener!

The window to submit entries for iOwnTheWorld's latest prestigious contest closed earlier this afternoon.

We’ve been waiting for a good theme. It has revealed itself. In the spirit of the Mega Mosque at Ground Zero we are looking for Inappropriate Shrines, Symbols, Awards, Tributes etc.

An example would be a Benihana at the Arizona.

Or, as Mr. Pinko said, a loving tribute to Bucky Dent at Fenway Park.

My custom-coded HumorBoy 2000™ algorithm has completed its nightly batch run and calculated the winners with the highest crackariffic humor quotient.

Drumroll, please...

Ladies and gentlemen, you're winners are:

20. A Sizzler Restaurant at Waco - Roach Liberation Front
19. The Billy Graham Revival TV Special Live from Mecca, Saudi Arabia! - Kool Kracker (mod.)
18. NOW office in Tehran - Effin' Cracker
17. The Ted Kennedy First Responder Award - Call Me Lennie
16. CAIR's First Annual Miss Gorgeous Goat Pageant at the Ohio State Fair - Crackatoa (mod.)
15. Brady Institute Civilian Marksman Program - ANA
14. Space Shuttle Challenger Simulator Theme Ride - Cracker Snatcher (mod.)
13. The Michael Jackson Preschool and Daycare Center - The Bad
13. The Jane Fonda USO Tour - Grand Cyclops Abe
12. Obama hitting the first tee to open the Masters – Kool Kracker
11. A cracker factory in South Central LA – Crackatoa
10. A National Rifle Association endorsement of Harry Reid… oh, wait… - My2Crackers
9. A planned parenthood at Vatican City – Effin’ Cracker
8. Singing ‘He’s a jolly good fellow’ at Barry’s birthday party – Crackatoa
7. The Martin Luther King Award for helping to bring about the end of racism to the NAACP – Dan Ryan Galt
6. A sushi stand at the Iwo Jima memorial in Washington, D.C – Betula
5. Henry Waxman on the cover of GQ magazine. Or worse, Barney Frank in Playgirl – Even Steven
4. A rifle range in the Texas schoolbook Depository Building – Roach Liberation Front
3. Barack Obama Presidential Library in Independence Hall – Illustr8r
2. A mushroom burger in Nagasaki – Crackatoa
1. Photo of Obama throwing a baseball on the Wheaties box – Even Steven

Let me be the first to congratulate all of our winners, a talented bunch all. As for the losers, better luck next time, FAILures!


Menderman said...

Thanks for a fine job of Judging Mr Ross, even though you didn't pick any of mine.


Anonymous said...

Thanks Doug - you did a superlative job. PS - is this the Doug that I owe half a shower curtain to? Cheers - Chalupa/Crackatoa.

Insolublog said...

Two number 13s?

Anonymous said...

I was too late/lazy to enter the contest so I'll just throw this in as a freebie:

The Buchenwald Matzo Museum and Eatery

Uncle Al

Anonymous said...

And a few more throwaways from Uncle Al:

The General Sherman Marching and Bonfire Society, Atlanta chapter

Declaration of Independence commemorative plaque at the HQ of the Internal Revenue Service

Amish Appreciation Week sponsored by Harley Davidson

Vatican chapter of Hell’s Angels

Castro District Southern Baptist Church