Sunday, February 22, 2015

The 12 Top #JobsForISIS

By Rachel Stoltzfoos

#JobsForISIS was trending nationally this week, after State Department spokesman Marie Harf said the solution to stopping ISIS is not by killing them, but by giving them jobs.

The U.S.-led coalition is killing ISIS members, Harf said Monday night on MSNBC. “But we cannot win this war by killing them. We need to go after the root causes that leads people to join these groups, whether it’s lack of opportunity for jobs, whether …”

MSNBC host Chris Matthews interrupted Harf to point out “there’s always going to be poor Muslims.”

But Harf doubled down, arguing the U.S. should “help them build their economies so they can have job opportunities for these people.”

Here are twelve jobs Twitter users suggest the U.S. offer ISIS to stop them from beheading people:

1. Wal-Mart Greeter

2. Personal trainers

3. Make all the bacon

4. Replace Jon Stewart

5. Obama’s security detail

6. Landmine sweepers

7. Help Obama find his balls

8. Ensure the proper fruitloop to milk ratio in YouTube star and Obama questioner Angela Morrison’s bathtub.

9. Obamacare poster boys

10. Babysit Uncle Joe

11. Create Halloween costumes

12. Make Obama look good at basketball


Follow Rachel on Twitter


Anonymous said...

Great idea for jobs jihadis should doing. :-)

Tim Gilley said...

Jihads, Doing the jobs Americans won't do.