Thursday, August 26, 2010

E-Z to follow instructions: get out of any traffic violation without a ticket, points on your driver's license, or other legal hassles

Stopped for a traffic violation and don't want to get hit with an expensive ticket? Just follow these simple instructions:

1. When the police officer asks for your driver's license and registration, state: "No habla ingles."

2. As the police officer figures out how to react, recite the following sentence (preferably using a exaggerated accent): "I am an illegal alien to the United States."

3. Before the police officer can react to your second statement, close the deal with: "You are not allowed to ask for my papers. Eric Holder said so."

4. After the police officer shrugs, closes his traffic investigation pad and sends you on your way, put the car in D (not R, heh) and slowly drive away from the scene. Try not to unleash an evil cackle.

Note: If you are hassled at all, contact La Raza or some other separatist front group for the government of Mexico and figure out how to sue the city, town or county in question.

After all, according to the Obama administration and the Holder DOJ, no one has a right to ask you for your papers. And anyone who does so must be profiling.

By the way: if I were better at making money, I'd turn this into a 30-minute infomercial and charge four installments of $19.95 for all of this valuable information.


Georg Felis said...

I have a better idea. Cops have no sense of humor when pulling somebody over, so:

1: Avoid speeding and driving stupid. Engage brain before gears.
2: When pulled over, be polite, but don't admit to anything.
3: His name is Officer. Address him that way. "Yes officer, here is my licence and registration."

Because, as much as we hate getting pulled over, the guy in the hot, sweaty Kevlar vest deserves our respect for being in a job where being shot is an occupational hazard.

Yes, the article is funny. No, it's not something I would advise to do in Real Life, unless you really like the idea of spending some time in the pokey and going before a Judge.

Brooklyn said...



thanks disastrous Democratic Party!

as Our Nation sinks.

Jeremy said...

I can tell by your comment that you are an idiot and a racist.

Anonymous said...

Jeremy, I can tell by your comment that you're a overzealous liberal who has no sense of reality. There was nothing remotely racist in this post. Only someone who walks around constantly in fear, who has absolutely no self-confidence or sense of humor would say such a thing. Develop a sense of humor and grow a backbone; better yet, yank your head out of the dirt and--for once--see the world as it really is.