9. There is such a thing as a free lunch
8. Inaction speaks louder than work
7. Don't cross the bridge if you're being driven by a Kennedy *
6. All good things come to those who register dead voters
5. A stimulus in time, saves or creates nine of something or other.**
4. Slothfulness is golden
3. What's good for the goose should be good for all the damn geese, m*****f*****!
2. A penny saved is a penny which needs to be taxed and redistributed those not fortunate enough to win life's lottery. **
1. If at first you don't succeed, lie, lie again. **
Let me know if I missed any.
Update: A Mr. H. Reid suggests, "Never judge a book by its cover so long as it is clean, articulate, with light skin and have no Negro dialect, unless it wanted to have one."
* Hat tip: The Bad.
** Hat tip: Magical Pat.