The Best Ideas to Save Our Beloved Newsweek Magazine: Hashtag #SaveNewsweekIdeas

Yes, it's true. The Democrat public relations rag known as Newsweek was just sold for the tidy sum of one dollar. The magazine had been hemorrhaging cash in recent years: "Revenue dropped 38 percent between 2007 and 2009, to $165 million... the business lost $32 million in 2008 and $39.5 million in 2009. Even after reducing headcount by 33 percent and slashing the number of issues printed and distributed to readers each week from 2.6 million to 1.5 million, the 2010 operating loss is still forecast at $20 million."

Thankfully, the perennially helpful cadre of conservatives on Twitter chimed in with scores of suggestions to save the DNC's official news-magazine.

MoRocca: To prevent further loss, engineers begin pumping heavy drilling mud into Newsweek offices
@directorblue: Include small number of golden tickets in each print run, winners to receive tour of Weehawken print shop
@directorblue: All articles printed in barcode to cram in more content

@directorblue: Create world's first fireproof magazine using asbestos newsprint
@directorblue: Include collectible kids stickers featuring faces of SEIU bosses
@RickSheridan: Kathleen Parker centerfold

@matthewrnewman: Use monkeys to recreate news of the day on the cover
@directorblue: Piggyback on popularity of 'The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo' trilogy by adding umlauts to every letter 'u'
@directorblue: Add more hilarious, rolicking MediaMatters columnists

@jimmiebjr: Hire Ackerman to throw underperforming ad salesmen through a plate glass window
@iowahawkblog: Rename to Smug Self-Righteous Asshole Review to avoid reader confusion
@ExJon: Print on two-ply, absorbent paper stock

@chucksavga: Move fiendishly coded instructions to sleeper cells from p 95 to p 11. They never read that far.
@directorblue: Include bootleg DVD of a different first-run movie with every issue
@directorblue: Cram each issue with as many used automobile and apartment rental ads as will fit

@IronyNOW: Deal Fareed Zakaria for prospects, sign Stephen Strasburg
@directorblue: Photoshop incriminating photos of Simon Cowell with Snooki
@directorblue: Pay readers to buy magazines, make up shortfall with high volumes

@SamValley: Partner with Bird Fancy Magazine as the Cage-lining edition
@directorblue: Print on delicious, crunchy Nestle's rice paper
@directorblue: Rename to "Newsmonth", hire hip young writers like Ruth Marcus and Leonard Pitts

@Rschrim: Shark Week!
@Michael_Haz: Helen Thomas swimsuit issue.
@iowahawkblog: Have reporting staff spend more time in the field, selling roses at busy frontage road intersections

@RennaW: Fire 1 of 15 columnists each week based on reader votes, bizarre physical challenges
@iowahawkblog: exclusive deal for magazine rack monopoly in reader-packed Govt Motors recall center waiting rooms
@StarlessTwit: Tell readers, "I must break you," and hope they will be intimidated into subscribing.

@jd_nyc: Have Government force people to buy it. Apparently they can do that now.
@cuffperfunction: Rent out the storied Newsweek Mansion for sexy sexy JournoList parties
@Joe: Kristan Just keep sending same magazine, changing only date. Remaining readers have dementia anyway and won't notice.

@iowahawkblog: Get rid of the unpopular 'Newsweek' part of magazine
@DrewMTips: Cut out unnecessary middlemen and let Robert Gibbs write all stories on Obama Administration
@j4140: Promise smoother looking skin in just 10 issues