Saturday, October 16, 2010

The Declaration of Dependence

The unanimous Declaration of the Democrat-controlled House of Representatives, the Senate, and the Executive Branch

hen in the course of political expediency it becomes necessary for one party to ignore its country's Constitution and legal system which hath guided it for 233 years, Gaia and Generation Investment Management require that it declare the causes which impel them to high treason.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all workers can be divided into races, income levels, religions, genders, and so on, to advance Statism; that they possess certain unalienable rights, that among these are health care, food stamps, iPhones, MTV, and a three-bedroom condo within walking distance of a Starbucks --

That to redistribute these rights, Governments are seized by politicians, deriving their powers by the theft of private property and the confiscation of liberty --

That whenever any form of Government becomes destructive of centralized, authoritarian Government, it is the Right of the Democrats to ignore the Constitution or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on the teachings of Marx, of Engels, of Alinsky, of Cloward and of Piven.

Prudence, indeed, would reject our claim to change government for light and transient causes, seeing as how we must reject facts, logic, history and reason to advance our tyrannical measures. Indeed, we rely upon our experience that hath shewn that mankind are more disposed to suffer so long as government cheese and Jersey Shore are freely available to anyone who asks, whether citizen or not.

And when some object, after a long train of abuses and usurpations by we, the callous, unheeding Democrat leadership, it is our right, and it is our duty, to play the race card, to tar them as 'extremists' and 'crackpots', to use the media to ridicule them, and to create a "Civilian National Security Force" to ensure their ultimate destruction.

Such has been our suffering abuse of these Tea Parties; and such is now the necessity which commands us to eradicate their former Systems of Government. To prove this, let Facts be submitted to a receptive media.

- He has refused to allow the vaporization of our Laws including the Constitution, which is no more useful to Democrats than a piece of toilet paper and which, may in fact, be emblematic of witchcraft.

- He has expressed feigned outrage over so-called 'lawlessness' by our Department of Justice, which has offered reparations to the New Black Panthers, illegal immigrants, and other workers deserving special treatment.

- He has refused to accept our order to adhere to socialized medicine and death panels, despite our agitprop designed to fool the general public.

- He has harangued our House of Representatives and our Senate, causing them to skip town hall meetings because of their loaded questions.

- He has endeavoured to prevent our de-population of these States; whether through abortion or in pursuit of our green agenda; both of which command us to reduce the numbers of the human virus.

- He has resisted our dictates to nationalize more than the one-third of United States land that we already have federalized.

- He has complained endlessly about our refusal to enforce the borders, which can only strengthen our numbers in subsequent elections with cadres of dependent migrants.

- He has resisted our assignation of Wise Latina Marxists and Socialists to the Highest Court.

- He has rejected our multitude of New Offices, Agencies and Bureaucracies, and all of our swarms of Officers that must harass them to ensure we confiscate as much of their private property as is our just due.

- He has fought our imposition of new Taxes, which must be installed to combat carbon dioxide pollution, light pollution, non-conforming toilet tanks, and sound pollution.

We, therefore, the Democrats of the united States of america, in General Congress and in the Executive, Assembled, appealing to Mighty Gozar the Traveler; We ask that he will come in one of the pre-chosen forms--During the rectification of the Pelosi transjunction, the traveler came as a large and enchanted Mikulski! Then, during the third resolution of the Reid supplicants, they chose a new form for him: that of a giant Barney! Many Tea Partiers and Free-Marketeers knew what it was to be roasted in the depths of the Barney that day, I can tell you!

And for the support of this Destruction, with a firm reliance on the Proletariat, we mutually pledge to Gaia our support, unless it interferes with our pursuit of personal wealth, aggregation of power or the acquisition of our third home -- this one in the Hamptons.


The_Bad said...

Neither I nor Angry McDougal will tolerate this declaration.

Anonymous said...

The “Safety Valve” election

The people are angry and upset; they are witnessing first hand what happens when a Far-left dominated political party takes over an entire government. Rampant spending and taxation, more and more control asserted over the economy and our lives by a bunch of incompetent dunderheads that couldn’t run a lemonade stand if their lives depended upon it.

And before you leftists begin bleating about Captain Kickass inheriting this mess, remember who was in charge of the congress for two years prior to the Democrats taking over the government – along with several national corporations.

You also need to get over yourselves thinking that you have carte blanc to do what ever you want ad infinitum. Just because a perfect political storm gripped, the county – as storm caused in part by you Democrats – doesn’t mean you get to run things into the ground forever. This is representative republic, the people are ultimately in charge – we don’t care about the keys, we OWN the Damn car!

Now, an explanation of the title of this essay. A safety valve is simple a pressure relief device placed on boilers and other pressure vessels. If too much heat or pressure is applied to the vessel, the valve opens and the pressure is relived instead of the vessel exploding.

Consider the election on November 2, 2010 as a safety valve on the electorate. We are angry at the direction the Democrats are taking this great nation and the election is only a partial manifestation of that anger. The amount that we change direction back will be the amount of anger that is relived.

Some if not most of that anger may be relived by the electoral safety valve, but not all – especially if the Republicans take over and it’s more of the same or it’s more weird wild adventures in Rinoland.

And you Democrats need to keep in mind the idea of a safety valve if you try to pull and shenanigans like massive voter fraud, stealing the election or anything more appalling. Let’s be clear about that: IT WON’T RELIVE THE PEOPLE’S ANGER AND ONLY MAKE IT 10 TIMES WORSE.

You Libs also need to always bear in mind that despite the fact that you’ve convinced yourselves that you are the intellectual elite of the world and that you have a virtual birthright on power, YOU DON’T. Can we make any clearer than that?

The Untied States and the rest of the world for that matter are approaching a critical stage in history. The people’s anger at the radical Marxism inherent in the Democratic Party will only be toned down when the Democratic Marxists are stopped. Any other alternative will lead to disaster for all.

Haydena said...

This is funny, but sadly, true.